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CommentAuthorVe.
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
...that the current (whatever it may be) widely spread alert for danger always involves THE LENGTH OF FOOTBALL FIELDS??
ie.
When a gun is discharged randomly in the air (for fun?) the bullet can travel THE LENGTH OF 2 FOOTBALL FIELDS and hurt someone anyway...therefore please be careful discharging a gun.
ie
When someone SNEEZES and doesn't cover their mouth & nose the germs can travel THE LENGTH OF 2 FOOTBALL FIELDS and infect US ALL...so please cover up.
And the current alert I keep hearing and reading:
When you FLUSH the toilet and don't put the lid down.. apparently the poo & pee can jump up and shoot (yes you guessed it) THE LENGTH OF 2 FOOTBALL FIELDS and saturate EVERYTHING in it's path!
Let's close that lid!
Hope this little observation finds you all well!!!!!
love, Ve. -
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CommentAuthornicko
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
800pixels = the length of 2 football fields FACT -
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CommentAuthorVe.
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
HA! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAAH! THANK YOU FOR THE ADDITIONAL GRAPHICS SO WE TRULY *GET* THE DANGER INHERENT!!!
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- CommentAuthormondo
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
how did you manage to post two of these threads..? I was watching a programme on ancient Chinese explorers, and sure enough the most imposing junks in the fleet were described as having decks the "size of two football fields"...
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CommentAuthorsquapple
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
lol !
the big question is: Are they two football fields or two American football fields?
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CommentAuthorVe.
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
HA! Seeeee?
And sorry about the two posts but chris it's too late to throw one away...VALUABLE COMMENTS are in both...
I got an error message when I tried creating a new discussion...so....I did it again the impatient girl that I am...and NOW look...
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CommentAuthorCPU
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
2 football fields, 2 threads.
that makes sense in a scary (and dangerous) way! -
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CommentAuthorVe.
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
@CPU
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CommentAuthorsquapple
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
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CommentAuthornicko
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
squapple said...lol !
the big question is: Are they two football fields or two American football fields?
Wait... there's another kind of football? -
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CommentAuthorsquapple
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
Ive been told there is !?! -
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CommentAuthornicko
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
WAT? THAT'S KER-AZY -
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CommentAuthorVe.
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
squapp re. the article...did I not TELL you?
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
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CommentAuthornicko
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
World's biggest flag... guess how bit it is? Go on, guess. -
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CommentAuthorVe.
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
HA! nicko!!!.... Did I not TELL you???
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CommentAuthornicko
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
ZOMG! -
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CommentAuthorsquapple
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
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CommentAuthorVe.
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
I rest my case! (but only because I gotta go to work...! :wink
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CommentAuthornicko
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
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CommentAuthorVe.
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
ha! squapp...you NAY-SAYER!
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CommentAuthorchris
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
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CommentAuthorVe.
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
.... you guys are going to make me chuckle all the work-day!!!
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CommentAuthorsquapple
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008 edited
Or maybe half the working day because most of us are nearly finished
x -
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CommentAuthorVe.
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
wise-aker!
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CommentAuthornicko
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
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CommentAuthorchris
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
52,000 football pitches, nicko? -
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CommentAuthorVe.
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH -
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CommentAuthornicko
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
They're doing it wrong chris... easily 51,998 out -
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CommentAuthornicko
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
That must be an imperial measurement -
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- CommentAuthorBiff
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
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CommentAuthorsquapple
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
lol ! -
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CommentAuthormick
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
i just laughed the length of THREE football fields.
1 "soccer" 100 meters/ 110 yards
1 Canadian football 101 meters/ 110.5 yards
1 American football 91 meters/ 100 yards
that hahaha has a long tail.
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CommentAuthornicko
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
what is this "soccer" you speak of? -
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CommentAuthorflak
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
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CommentAuthorurbansurgeon
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
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CommentAuthorurbansurgeon
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
You know when someone goes to the doctor in a movie, or in real life, and s/he looks gravely at the nervous patient and tells them he’s got some bad news and then describes the size of it – it’s always the size of a soft fruit. And as with tumours, cysts and other noxious swellings, so with babies.
And then when certain news organisations write stories about deforestation, oil slicks or similar, they compare the rate of loss with leisure facilities, principalities, or small nations.
The thing about all of these things is that they are universal. An apple is an apple is an apple. Everyone knows how big an elephant is. All of these things have a human scale, and can be imagined at will, to make a relevant comparison or to describe something else.
With that in mind, I’ve been trying to come up with a scale for the universal units of measurement (used for everything from foetus growth to tumours to deforestation). These are all things I’ve heard used as a relative size for things, but I’m sure it’s not exhaustive:
Please add your own, if you know of others.
Olympic Standard Swimming Pool (vol)
Grain of sand (mass/vol)
Human hair (mass/lin)
Pea (mass/vol)
Fingernail (lin)
Walnut (vol)
Golf ball (vol)
Kiwi fruit (vol)
Apricot (vol)
Avocado (vol)
Fist (vol)
Tennis ball (vol)
Credit card (area/lin)
Can of Coke (vol)
Pack of cigarettes/Pack of playing cards (in these more enlightened times) (area/vol)
Grapefruit (vol)
Honeydew melon (vol)
Paperback book (area/mass?)
Brick (vol/mass)
Football/Bowling ball (mass/vol)
Hardback book (mass?)
Watermelon (vol)
Shoebox (vol)
Big dog (vol)
Cow (vol/lin)
Family car (vol/vel)
Garden shed (vol)
Elephant (vol/lin)
Double-decker bus (lin)
Nelson’s column (lin)
Football field (area/lin)
Isle of Wight (area)
Mount Everest (lin/vol)
Wales (area)
Belgium (area/num)
France (area/olf/num)
Texas (area/num)
If you don’t know what I’m talking about, trying saying the words “..about the size of a…” in front of any of the above.
key:
vol = volume/3 dimensional size, mass = mass (weight), area = 2 dimensional size, lin = linear measure (e.g. height, length, width, depth), vel = velocity (e.g speed, acceleration), num = numerical ordinal (e.g. population), olf = olfactory unit (smell) -
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- CommentAuthorBiff
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
Metric Fuckton? Where does that fit? -
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CommentAuthorflak
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
Probably somewhere near a shitload, haha.
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CommentAuthormick
- CommentTimeAug 1st 2008
urban, i like the way you think...... when it comes to equivalencies, anyway.
i do something similar, but it has to do with quickmeasuring injuries on a person, or estimating volume of body fluids, etc.
that's a great list. -
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CommentAuthorsunk
- CommentTimeAug 3rd 2008
Biff said...Metric Fuckton? Where does that fit?
If it helps there are 16 shittons in a fuckton and 4 shit loads in a shitton
Then again I'm not sure what the metric conversions are, I'm sure it breaks things into tens so slower people can use their fingers to count. -
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CommentAuthorsunk
- CommentTimeAug 3rd 2008 edited
It seems better minds than ours have tackled this issue.
The term "ass load" can be found in the Old Testament of the Bible. God tells Noah to bring an ass's load of grain for each pair of animal brought upon the arc. Thus an ass load is derived from the amount of weight that can be held carried by a mature, healthy donkey (ass).
The term is used again in the New Testament when Jesus shares the parable of Rosie O'Donnell's booty, it is cursed to weigh over 7 ass loads because she is an annoying, fat, and ugly bitch.
Your mom's jugs must weigh more than 2 ass loads.
OR
You can't forget there is also the "F" factor = 10X
Thus a F#*King Butt Load is = 40 bunch of shit's!
OR
So, 1 Ass Load could be Two Butt Loads assuming the Ass could carry 2 people, aka 2 Butt Loads.
So 1al = 8bs.
The exact amount of a "shitload" varies widely between context and culture. Here is the breakdown:
Standard English Shitload = 1007
Metric Shitload = 1000
Baker's Shitload = 1008
Binary Shitload = 1024
of course there's the matter of how many shitloads in a buttload, or a fuckload:
Standard English: Fuckload = 4 Buttloads = 8 Shitloads
Metric: Fuckload = 10 Buttloads = 100 Shitloads
Baker's: Fuckload = 5 Buttloads = 9 Shitloads
Binary: Fuckload = 1024 Buttloads = 1048576 Shitloads
I hope this ends some confusion.
Update 8/27/01:
Apparently there is some confusion as was recently addressed by the noble mblase as to where "assload" fits into this schema. Using interpolation of modern slang one could easily assume that one assload would be equivilent to one buttload. However further research into this subject has found that "assload" is actually a term with pre-C.E. origins, to a time when the term "ass" was used refer to a beast of burden. Hence, the assload was equivilent to what could be carted around by a single ass. Much like a cubit (a term refering to the length the forearm) this measure is inexact, and has passed into obscurity.
•Carload
•Boatload
•Truckload
•Trainload
•Shitload
•Buttload
•Pantload
•Assload
•Fuckload
Perhaps someday we can standardize this mess -
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CommentAuthorVe.
- CommentTimeAug 3rd 2008 edited
HHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAH!!!! sunk...you're KILLING me!!!!! -
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CommentAuthormick
- CommentTimeAug 4th 2008
i always said that sunk should do more scholarly discoursing.
^ see?
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