Mmmmm...I am reminded of a time when I was ten. I was very, very,very ill(they tell me)(inner ear,mastoid extreme infection).I remember lying on the living room couch(where my Mom could better get to me if I was in trouble) my face toward the back of the couch. I couldn't sleep and as my young self stared at the repeating fabric pattern on the couch cover...gradually the design bits (I think they were abstract little flowers) started to move and slowly rows of them parted from a group of others and marched to one side...then as I watched...they moved toward the others in a group, just like one army attacking the other. This fascinated me. At the time I thought nothing strange of it. 'Twas delirium they told me later.


Also I had a dream that I was a person with 4 faces. In my mind, each time a certain one of those faces turned to front(they clicked around all day one at a time facing front) each time a certain one faced front my ear emptied of horrible stuff which ran out onto my pillow. They tell me this was drug induced dreaming...and the healing process taking place...


I'll never forget that time. I step aside from the pain of it, in my mind, and marvel at the inner mind workings of a sick child.


(same for my first hit of acid! Much later in college,of course) You should SEE what my imagination conjured up THAT time...coooool! I had a friend stay drug free to walk me through it. FASCINATING!)

i think LSD was a genius discovery. from the time we're born, our brain spends most of its time and energy learning what's pertinent to survival and what's not. it learns to ignore, to "not bother with", and we go about our lives perceiving only what we've learned to. LSD shortcircuits the interpretation filters on our senses and we can perceive that which is not usually considered useful. aka: "like a child, see what is real".

you can't polish a turd...but you can roll it in glitter...

Can somebody punch God in the groin for me? He/She isn't returning my calls.

Party diapers, ew.

i just made seven.. very large pizzas with home-made moosemeat pepperoni, sliced fresh pineapple, mushrooms, buffalo mozzarella, and a lovely sauce made with last year's canned plum tomatoes. onions and anchovies available. (for me)

it took me nearly 3 hours to do all this.

they were gone in 9.. not 10.. 9 minutes.

now i have a kitchen full of people doing dishes; that's some comfort.

not even enough leftovers for a decent fight.




maybe there's some virtue in frozen pizza, after all.

rant

sometimes people suck so much i just want to stay away from humans.


some of you know that i live with my sis and that she lives with me AND with mental illness. the extreme abuse in our childhood left me with some baggage, yeah.. mostly to do with how i react to those who abuse their authority.. but sis got out later than i did and she struggles with what is easiest to call "Severe OCD". mostly she does pretty darn well.

yesterday she and i were in town, and she started to lose it. she was crouched next to the car in the parking lot, quietly trying to regain her equilibrium. i was calmly talking to her, hoping to get her in the car, where she'd feel safer.

a woman with 2 small children walked by, and stopped and started berating us LOUDLY and at length. example: "why don't you keep crazy people like that out of decent citizen's way!?!"

my sis looked up at her and said "your children fear you; who's the crazy person here?" i loved her so much at that moment....

that horrible bigoted woman..... just a waste of protoplasm. damn her.

“Fast, Cheap, and Good… pick two. If it’s fast and cheap it wont be good. If it’s cheap and good it won’t be fast. If it’s fast and good it wont be cheap.” Fast, cheap and good… pick (2) words to live by.

tom waits said jim jarmusch said that to him.

i don't know why, just felt like it.

Ow, my brain!!!

I agree about Jim Jarmusch. I found Mystery Train and Ghost Dog kind of interesting, but on a whole I don't get his movies. I've tried a few times, thinking I was somehow missing the genius. Now I just can't be bothered. If I missed it, so be it. Tom Waits, on the other hand is a genius and I love him!

bull said...“Fast, Cheap, and Good… pick two. If it’s fast and cheap it wont be good. If it’s cheap and good it won’t be fast. If it’s fast and good it wont be cheap.” Fast, cheap and good… pick (2) words to live by.

that's exceptionally pertinent in my life right now, bull. thank you


sometimes i want something that is none of the three. neither fast, nor cheap, nor easy. humility is sometimes all i get when i hit the glass wall of my own inadequacies.


x

tom waits is a fine performance artist.